red on blak, friend of jack. red tuch yella, kilt yew ded

i member wen i wuz nuthin but a lil ole kid id play all day n the yard jus runnin around pikin up stiks an throwen em down jus fer the hell of it. id magen i wuz sum kina adventurer out ther wit ownlee mi dawgs for companyonship an weed xplor the vast and unnoed landscape lookin fer trezur. mostlee we jus found barrys an botles cuz mi land wuz bilt on n old landfill - ore a trash heep. ther wuz a rustee washin masheen an lotsa tin cans n broke botles half n an half outa the dert. neeway i wuz a mightee reedr bak then, i had a hooge magenashun an mee an thous dawgs wood preetend to b pierits an travelrs, avengrs an resquers, nevr neewone hoo needed help, wee wuz alwayz the wones to cum runnin to giv help an save the day. ore at leest save the trezur. so on this partikular day mee an aaron, that wuz the name of mi veree best dawg, big old german shepard, hee wuz so ntellijent, wen i got home from skool i wood sneek reel quiet like out the frunt door an make sur the screen door didnit make no noize, cuz it shor cood b a laowd thang! an id run, but stil quiet lyk out nto the yard an id hyde beehind a tree an then cal his name laowd lyk AAAAAAARRRRRRROOOOOONNNNNNNN! an then id stik miself reel klos tew the tree an peek around an shur eenuff n a menit heer hed cum runnin, sniffin the graound, trien to git mi cent. hed find it, he alwayz did an it woodnt take him no mor n tew menits to find that tree i wuz hid beehind. i shor do mis that boy dawg. now i dun got miself hung up in thos tendr tendrils of memoree lane. so bak to mi storee. one day mee an mi dawgs and mi dad wer out n the yard pikin up stiks an pylin them up so mi dad cood moe layter. i wuz lookin around an i saw a snake!! scard mee haf to deth! i sayd DAD DAD LUK! hee saw it an hee wuz scard to! that sukr musta herd us screemem an raysin cane an i wawtchd him slithr an slyd nto a haol n a tree! dad toled me tew run git mi mom n i tuk off runnen. wee came bak, mee wit a shovl n her wit the shotgun. mi dad sayd hee wasnt gunna shoot a snake n a tree cuz hee wuz afrayd of the rikoshay but the shovel woodnt fit n the tree to git tew it tew kill that suckr. i caint member no mor how they got that snake so they cood kill him but a shot rang out an he wuz deder than a doornael. ownlee latr did we cum tew find out that the snake we kilt wuz a kingsnake. that meens, corrding to wikapeeda "The Common Kingsnake genus are known to be immune to the venom of other snakes and are known to eat rattlesnakes" n "Kingsnakes are commonly kept as pets, due to their ease of care. Kingsnakes are overall hardy and simple to care for. Their captive diet usually consists of appropriately sized rodents, prekilled. Giving live rodents is an illegal offense in some countries and may be bad for the snake's health, as the rodents are high in fat. Kingsnakes are generally docile, curious and gentle. Kingsnakes seem to enjoy being handled. They also seemed to be mesmerized by patterns flashing on a television." AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA if ownlee i cooda towld mi dad tew put that snake n frunt of the dang teevee n wee cooda kept that suckr az a pet n heeda aten up all thoze bad snakes n the yard. ooo wee mi dada never wooda buhleevd it. sheeet i dun buhleev it miself! wundr whut idgit found that out! gittin snakes tew wawtch teevee, peepul shor r funee. i theenk wee musta all thot that if itz a snake itz gota bee bad so itz gota bee kilt n caes it tryz tew kill us! but wee kild sumthang that waz a good creetchur, god's creetchur that snake wuz. so luk sumthang up on tha wikee beefor u go killn it. o n dont eet no rodints or varmitz cuz theyr hi n fat!

heer b sum niss thangs yall can luk at n cee whut im ramblen on

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingsnake

http://images.google.com/images?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=kingsnake&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

this un heer luks alot lyk the one that got kilt!